Calvy Scars is a new Deerhunter song we have been perfoming recently. I would like it to be part of a three song suite that would sit in the middle of "Microcastle." In this cycle I would like to attempt, though I'll probably fail, to kill off the adolescent character that haunts everything I write. Last year I saw this photograph by Peter Beste*:
The boy in the photo is being cruicified by his hero, a black metal musician from norway. This shit, I was told, Is real. I believed it enough to write a song from the boy's perspective which is,
crucified on a cross in front of all my closet friends
crucified on a a cross (in front)
crucified by my hero who supplies the cross and nails
crucified with backstage passes
crucified on drum throne
crucified on cross revealed, finest wood and rope so thick
my arms, my wrists, would bleed for days
my arms, my wrists, would bleed for
GREEN JACKET /// about first love
i take what i can, i give what i have left
then take by the hand what i have felt
what i see
grass grows grows green
autumn leaves burning burn burning burn
skulls pressed flesh on flesh
skullz pressed flesh on flesh
(two transposed videos)
SKLLS PRSED FLESHONFLESH
( ( ( ( ( ( ( a c t i v a ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) about first death
(we wasted our lives) wasted our time i trickled out creek would run dry
(poltergeist escapes cassette)
steam would rise our love atrophied and i tried hysterical peace.
worlds create themselves, fate led us straight to see graves marked for me
graves, dug for me.
I tried. I tried. I tried.
These are very rough cassette four-track demos from two years ago. They were not made when I was in the best state of mind. Deerhunter is a band, not my solo project (atlas sound). These are songs meant for Deerhunter to work out together and build upon. There's a lot of work to do.
*I just wanted to note that i wanted to post this and let you see the image that inspired the song, i didn't have a chance to ask permission to reprint the image. I want to point out that I am a huge fan of Peter Beste's photography. If I thought or am made aware that he had a problem with me making reference to his image I would absolutley remove it. Please go check out his other work: www.peterbeste.com
I also would like to note before anyone starts attacking this image or why I posted it that it is not pornographic, so spare me. Pornography is sexually explicit material meant to elicit a sexual response. That clearly is not the intention here. Pete is a documantary photographer and captures images and events as they occur in real life. I am too exhausted to take on the bullshit exploitational conservative people in our culture. They can go somewhere else. I am posting things that are relevant to the work i make. Deal with it or get the fuck out. And to all the anonymous pussies who troll around here and elsewhere (even those of you who operate huge influential webzines, etc.) I don't want your attention. I want your blood. Or alternately I want you to realize your hipocracy and get a life.