Thursday, August 16, 2007

mythological creature

justin bosworth was the first, i think, bass player in deerhunter. maybe moses was the first, or maybe paul harper. its hard to remember those days, lots was going on, new bands and crappy boyfriends and drugs and magical art damaged houses where we would have freak outs and do fucked crafts till, like 9 in the morning. moses was always sick on the couch. bradford always wanted me to put make up on him.

i worked at this titty bar in atlanta, called the cleremont lounge. its really notorious for having half-dead/amputee/mother/daughter/grandma strippers. its got a total twin peaks vibe,bad smells, the dudes toilet is a trough, the wallpaper is gold and red velvet flocking and there are pictures of asians posing on lamborginis and pastel drawings of naked smokey eyed babes that a mysterious artist tries to sell for 6k a pop. it was a fucking killer job. i drove the dudes that went there nuts caus i always kept my clothes on, and i got the bitchin job of being the daytime manager. it ruled.

justin and matt proctor would come into the cleremont in the day time, and since it was never to busy then, and caus i knew matt proctor from some scandelous late night hand holding sessions, we would seriously bro down, and be totally shit faced by, um 6 pm. so my first time with justin was me and him and matt getting wasted and watching strippers. to a soundtrack of, 'im coming up so you better get this party started'.

justin was really into drag city, and he was really into smog in particular. he would carry this polaroid camera with him everywhere and take these totally amazing photos. i dont know if he was sweet talkin the camera or what but never before and never since have i ever seen such awesome polaroids. he would also collect mini stuffed animals, like the kind you get from a gas station claw machine and then cut them open, turn them inside out, sew them back up then dip them in glitter varnish them and sometimes melt an army man on top. they always reminded me of like an eightyear old boys fantasy birthday party, but like, actualize the daydream of said birthday party and turn it into this hybrid glitter/penguin/melting/neon sculpture. he had all of these amazing vintage tshirts, but they were all yellow. there was a jeep one that i have now, and i keep it in his pillowcase, in my bedroom. it still smells like him, but it always makes me cry when i see it so i just let it be and it makes me glad to know its there.

justin started playing with deerhunter right before i moved to nyc with my best friend jane and good friend john bowman. deerhunter played what was i think there first nyc show in my basement on meserole street in bushwick. maybe they played somewhere first, i dont remember. i do remember that it was the first time that my friends who were so much more awesome by ten million than any of the crappy people i met in nyc (i still stand by this btw) from atl had come to visit and it was this huge relief to see real friends. we went to central park, and i stole banana pudding and icebox pie from magnolia for everyone. it was autum, but perfect golden hoodie but no coat perma-sunset autum. it was really romantic. the picture above is me and justin then. jane was there, so was bradford...ethan morris and colin and maybe moses. who else? anyway it ruled.
justin and colin and ethan all stayed with me. it was a really perfect time. when justin died, i had an unread email from him from 2 days before he got smashed by a car. it said "not much goin on on my end. quite, lonely. i wanna come back to see you soon, it was such a good time. no times like that since" of course reading that shit after he died killed me.

justin started doing drugs, just like um, 6-7 other people in atlanta. luckily i was away for most of it and by no means was i a saint in that department but it was really crappy finding out that everyone was shootin dope or speedballs. by no means though did justin die from drugs, and by no means should he ever be remembered as some junkie. he got canned from deerhunter, then rejoined then quit then rejoined then got canned again. he stopped talkin to a lot of people in atl, kept to himself. i always talked to him though, at least once a week, and i knew he was dealing with his shit, trying to figure out what the fuck he was doing to himself, why and how to fix it. during this time he made an INSANE amount of solo music, on a four track with toy electronics and thrift store guitars and harmoniums and bells. he called the stuff peergynt, and i have about 15 of the cassettes but none of it is mixed, and the original four track is gone, so its hard to piece the music all together. justin moved to this house on woodward avenue with this guy that worked at eats, archie. when justins phone got turned off, he would call me from archies phone, or visa versa. justin dissappeared on the 25th of march, and archie called the hospital on the 26th. then he called me cause he didnt know who else to call. apparently he was hit by a car on his skateboard on the corner of hill and chatahoochee in grant park. then he was a vegetable in a coma. i quit my job, spent my rent money on a plane ticket and flew to atlanta. i got there at noon on the 29th of march 2004, his parents pulled the plug at about 10 am. so i missed him.

i think its important, for all of the deerhunter super fans to know about how awesome he was. one day ill upload a bunch of the polaroids he took, and i had lofty ambitions to one day make a book of his pictures, and will one day, i promise. (its really f'n expensiveto publish art books) i think he wrote the badass base line to adorno. maybe bradford can elaborate on here about his other deerhunter contributions. maybe his parents will see this and realize that his whole life in atlanta was mostly awesome, cause im afraid they think he just shot drugs and had crappy friends.

this is the mix tape i made for justin, i took it outta his room when i was cleaning out some of his things after he was a big joke that i faked it was made for this guy, rober traxler. robert traxler was my internet boyfriend when i was 17. thats a whole other blog...

i saw justins ghost once, in a basement in kirkwood. his head was shaved and he had a white t shirt on. he touched my back when i was slepping, and i woke up, hen saw him. he looked right in my eyes and then walked out of the room. i started uncontrollably crying and kept saying 'come back'. i swear to god that happened. he never came back though.

i think there is a tree planted for him somewhere, and i think they named a boys and girls club after him in wisconsin, where his family was from. he was totally one of my favorite people ever, and he was a big part in the beginning of this band, deerhunter, that all you kids love.